Ask Ganny

Questions. Now.

~~((OOC: I think the real problem is the fact that Ganny’s monitor is older than he is.))~~

DO YOU WANT TO DIE FOREST GIRL?

Ganondorf’s Sensual Escapades #1

Well.

When I was a young man, the lands next to the Gerudo desert was owned by this group of grown men named Poe warriors, basically ghost people.

    They lived in the sandstorm portion of the desert and over the hundred some years we have been trying to expand the Gerudo settlement. Seriously, have you been there? My home is small! All that desert full of ghosts is prime material for our Gerudo warriors and training grounds (And another place for Ganny’s personal harem, yeah)! However, they are not affected by the sandstorm and they know that portion of the desert. I was a lucky man, for the queen of the Poe Warriors was born every 1000 years and she was born in my generation! Lucky me! So being the negotiator I am, I requested an audience with the queen.

    Granted, I’m used to swallowing my pride and bowing to another king. False trust is worth manipulating, so I told them, in exchange for using the training grounds on the Gerudo fortress, they would give me the map of the entire desert region. The queen was very happy to hear this since lanterns aren’t good weapons to begin with. She also found me charming, so a wave of a hand here, some caressing there, BOOM. Ganny is getting busy with a ghost. It was an ectoplasmic experience. Goo, EVERYWHERE. She had the biggest ghost rack I had ever seen, well it was the only one I’ve ever seen, but still, the way they swayed surreally was amazing. So I am getting ready to finish up what Ganny came to do, when…the ToP acted up again and unleashed a large purple fire to suddenly engulf…and kill the queen…

    ****.

    I mean, I was gonna take over the kingdom , overthrow the queen, and expand upon the Gerudo empire, which eventually involved Hyrule, by using the map to start a war to destroy the Poe’s empire in the sandstorms, but the ToP has ruined my plans once more.

    So after running out the castle, being chased with lanterns and pitchforks, I laid a giant magical barrier between the gate and the rest of the desert. After telling the ladies at the house that no one was allowed to EVER go deeper in the desert, they were pretty pissed that the survival training that they did out there was just cut forever. Nabooru was understanding. She imprisoned me in an Iron Knuckle and banned my personal harem. ;_;

    And that’s how Ganny prevented the Poes from invading Hyrule, in an accidental way.

    I think I may be a hero in my own right. Legend of Ganondorf, here I come!
THIS IS GERUDO! *kick*

…*gulp*

[[Din Arc over. Phew!]]

I love free stuff! I wonder what the change of heart was?…

[[OOC: GO SEE Ask Beedle! He’s a boss!]]

Two women can raise a man, you damn Philistines. Love you mommas. I’ll make that boy ROT IN HELL.

DON’T. ASK. THAT. QUESTION.

I wield the most powerful relic in all of forever. No silly mask can contain the power of Ganny!…Could someone help Majora? He’s kinda flippin’ out.

asksheik:

I don’t have any reason to go after him. As I am not the chosen hero, I would be destined to failure were I to fully pit myself against him. I’m worth more alive.