Two women can raise a man, you damn Philistines. Love you mommas. I’ll make that boy ROT IN HELL.

I wield the most powerful relic in all of forever. No silly mask can contain the power of Ganny!…Could someone help Majora? He’s kinda flippin’ out.

asksheik:

I don’t have any reason to go after him. As I am not the chosen hero, I would be destined to failure were I to fully pit myself against him. I’m worth more alive.

I’m never going to figure who this person is.

Okay, I know I saw him somewhere before…Am I getting old?

[[OOC: I drew this while showing my wife how to use MSpaint to draw Ganondorf. <3 Love you, honey!]]

Why is the Triforce resonating? Must be a fluke! I lose more control over this thing as time goes by.

[[OOC: Hey everyone, check out asksheik! She’s preeety awesome!]]

By popular demand. Why am I smiling? I just killed the Hero of Time by tricking him that I was Epona. Stampede was so cash.

Sh*t.

    Why, hello there. My name is Ganondorf. I’m sure you know who I am. “The King of Evil” and what not. The holder of the Triforce of Power. Eternal punching bag to that boy. Yes, I am that guy. Seriously, I have gotten too old for this. Resurrecting, taking over a portion of Hyrule, Light Arrows, dying again, resurrecting, Hyrule, Light Arrows, death. I honestly can’t remember the first life I had.

    I have to say my favorite life is when I lived in the Gerudo Desert…with all those ladies. Mmmm-hmmm. Delicious woman, all for me. You have to know that being the only man born in 100 years is nice. Imagine being a child with as much putang at your beck and call. I had the Gerudo’s breast feed me well into my…well, actually, I never stopped. Breast milk is f***ing delicious.

    I never knew my father though. Quite sad, never taught me how to ride horseback or shoot arrows. Why I don’t talk like the women there? They all sound like men! We all sound…what do you Earth people say…Like Sean Connery! I sound like him too. I think I tend to look like him as well.

    But I digress… you don’t want me to talk about the some odd 500 women I could sleep with every night. I’m sure you want to know why I do what I do.

    Honestly, the Triforce plopped in front of me one day. No searching, no “king of thieves” crap. It just landed there. I was a bit hungry at the time, and it looked like a nacho. Okay, I know I shouldn’t be eating Triforces off the ground, but I was so hungry. So I reach to pick it up with my hand and mystically, it attaches to my right hand with one of the Triforce triangles lit up.

    I was f***king tripping balls. How does a nacho fuse to your hand? I mean, it didn’t hurt. I mean, the only real difference was PURPLE FIRE but that is awesome to begin with. As soon as I decide to walk back home, I was shot, in the back with a Light Arrow by a slut princess. I couldn’t move. That’s when I was stabbed in the back by this boy, the same boy I will see for the rest of my lives. I started to die. I opened my eyes and looked to the sky, to see a small man, well into his prime, wearing a green jumpsuit, riding on a red balloon, laughing at me. He dropped that blasted Triforce, I’m sure of it. Damn…..kids….

Last time I’ll eat a nacho.

I’m about to cast lightning! How adorably unfortunate for you.

Lady GaGhir.